By Nancy Duarte, Bible Teacher | Life on Earth Ministries
A Story: The Woman Who Did It All (Until She Couldn’t)
Her name was Rachel. And if you asked anyone who knew her, they’d tell you the same thing:
“Rachel does it all.”
She worked full-time—50+ hours a week. She cooked dinner every night. She kept the house spotless. She raised three kids, shuttling them to sports, music lessons, and church activities. She was the go-to aunt for babysitting. The default grandparent for emergency pickups. The daughter who managed her aging mother’s medical appointments.
She was everything to everyone.
Church? She was there every Sunday, teaching children’s ministry. Someone needed a meal? Rachel brought it. Prayer request? Rachel was on it. Community event? Rachel organized it.
She never said no. She never stopped. She never rested.
Because rest felt selfish. Rest felt lazy. Rest felt like failure.
One Sunday morning, Rachel stood in front of the mirror getting ready for church. She looked at herself—really looked—for the first time in years.
And she didn’t recognize the woman staring back.
Dark circles under her eyes. Skin is dull and lifeless. Hair thinning from stress. Body aching from exhaustion, she’d been ignoring.
But it was her eyes that stopped her.
They were empty.
She went to church anyway. Because that’s what Rachel did.
She taught the kids. She smiled at everyone. She said she was “fine” when people asked.
And then, during worship, something broke.
She stood there, hands raised, singing words about God’s peace and rest. And she realized:
She had none of it.
She was singing about a God who promises rest while running herself into the ground in His name.
She praised a God who commands the Sabbath while believing that rest was for those who had “earned” it.
She was dying. Slowly. In the name of serving.
That day, Rachel made a choice.
She went home. She turned off her phone. She told her family, “I need to rest.”
And for the first time in decades, she did nothing.
No cooking. No cleaning. No serving. No fixing. No managing.
Just rest.
And in the silence, she heard God whisper:
“Rachel, I didn’t create you to run yourself into the ground. I created you to LIVE. Rest isn’t selfish. Rest is sacred. Rest is MY DESIGN.”
Why Rest Matters: The Physical, Emotional & Spiritual Cost of Running on Empty
Bible Chicks, let me ask you something:
When was the last time you truly rested?
Not scrolled through your phone while sitting on the couch.
Not binged Netflix while folding laundry.
Not “relaxed” while mentally running through your to-do list.
I mean, REALLY rested.
Body still. Mind quiet. Soul at peace.
If you can’t remember, you’re not alone.
We live in a culture that glorifies busyness and demonizes rest.
“I’ll rest when I’m dead.”
“Sleep is for the weak.”
“Hustle harder.”
“If you’re not exhausted, you’re not committed.”
And we, as women—especially as Christian women—have swallowed this lie whole.
We believe that rest is selfish. That Sabbath is optional. That pushing ourselves to the brink is “Christlike.”
But it’s not. It’s destruction disguised as devotion.
The Physical Cost of No Rest
When you don’t rest, your body breaks down.
Science proves it:
- Chronic sleep deprivation leads to heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and a weakened immune system
- Constant stress floods your body with cortisol, which damages your brain, gut, and organs
- Burnout leads to adrenal fatigue, hormonal imbalances, and chronic pain
- Exhaustion makes you more prone to illness, accidents, and injury
Your body is not a machine. It was designed to REST.
The Emotional Cost of No Rest
When you don’t rest, your soul suffers.
- You become irritable, short-tempered, and resentful
- You lose joy, peace, and patience
- You feel disconnected from the people you love
- You experience anxiety, depression, and emotional numbness
- You stop feeling like yourself
Exhaustion steals your emotional capacity.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. But you keep trying—and wondering why you’re always angry, always overwhelmed, always on edge.
The Spiritual Cost of No Rest
When you don’t rest, you lose connection with God.
You’re too tired to:
- Pray meaningfully
- Read Scripture with focus
- Hear God’s voice
- Feel His presence
- Experience joy in your faith
You’re serving God while running from Him.
You’re doing all the “right things”—church, ministry, service—but you’ve lost intimacy with the One you’re doing it all for.
You’ve become Martha. And you’ve forgotten how to be Mary.
Mary and Martha: The Woman Who Chose Rest Over Performance
Let’s talk about the story that every exhausted woman needs to hear.
Luke 10:38-42
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.
But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Let’s Break This Down
Martha was doing ALL the work:
- Cooking
- Cleaning
- Serving
- Hosting
- Managing
- Performing
She was exhausted. Overwhelmed. Resentful.
And when she saw Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet—resting, listening, being present—she snapped.
“Lord, don’t you CARE that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?!”
Translation:
“I’m over here killing myself, and she’s just SITTING THERE. Tell her to get up and help me!”
And here’s what Jesus said—pay close attention, because this is for YOU:
“Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
What Jesus Was Really Saying
“Martha, you’re so busy DOING that you’re missing what matters most.”
“You’re so distracted by performance that you’ve lost the purpose.”
“You’re serving Me, but you’re not WITH Me.”
“Mary chose rest. She chose presence. She chose intimacy. And that is BETTER.”
Bible Chicks, read that again.
Mary chose what is BETTER.
Not easier. Not lazier. Not more selfish.
BETTER.
Here’s what we get wrong about this story:
We think Jesus was criticizing Martha for serving.
He wasn’t.
He was correcting her for believing that her SERVICE was more critical than her PRESENCE.
Martha thought her worth was in her DOING.
Mary knew her worth was in her BEING.
And here’s the part that will wreck you:
Martha was serving Jesus.
But Mary was WITH Jesus.
And Jesus said Mary’s choice was better.
Now ask yourself:
Are you serving God? Or are you WITH God?
Are you doing all the “right things” while missing the ONE THING that matters most?
Are you so busy working FOR Jesus that you’ve forgotten how to rest WITH Jesus?
The Woman Who Does It All: Every Phase, Every Role, Every Exhaustion
Let me paint you a picture. Tell me if this is you.
The Woman in Her 20s-30s
She’s building her life:
- Working to establish her career
- Maybe married, maybe navigating relationships
- Possibly raising young children (sleepless nights, endless needs)
- Trying to “do it all”—career, marriage, motherhood, friendships, fitness, church
- Exhausted but told, “These are the best years of your life.”
- Feeling guilty for being tired
She rests… never. Because she doesn’t have time. And if she did, she’d feel guilty for taking it.
The Woman in Her 40s
She’s in the thick of it:
- Career demands are high
- Kids are in the chaos years (school, sports, activities, emotional needs)
- Aging parents are starting to need help
- She’s the “sandwich generation”—caring for kids AND parents
- Her body is changing (perimenopause, hormones, energy dropping)
- She’s everyone’s go-to person
- She’s running on fumes
She rests… when everyone else is taken care of. Which is never.
The Woman in Her 50s-60s
She’s supposed to be “free” now:
- Kids are grown (but still need her)
- She’s a grandparent now (more people to care for)
- She’s THE aunt (babysitting, helping, always available)
- Aging parents need MORE help (medical appointments, caregiving, end-of-life decisions)
- She thought this season would be easier
- It’s not. It’s just a different kind of exhaustion.
She rests… when she’s finally alone. Which is rare. And when she is, she feels guilty for not being available.
The Woman in Her 70s+
She’s “earned” rest now:
- But her body aches
- Her energy is low
- She’s grieving losses (spouse, friends, health, independence)
- She’s still serving (church, family, community)
- She still doesn’t rest—because she never learned how
She rests… only when her body forces her to. And even then, she feels like she should be doing more.
Do you see it, Bible Chicks?
In EVERY phase of life, women are taught:
Your value = Your productivity.
Your worth = Your service.
Your purpose = Your exhaustion.
And it’s killing us.
What God Says About Rest (Spoiler: It’s a COMMAND, Not a Suggestion)
Let’s be very clear:
God didn’t suggest rest. He COMMANDED it.
Exodus 20:8-10 (The Fourth Commandment)
“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work.
Did you catch that?
This is one of the TEN COMMANDMENTS.
Right up there with:
- Don’t murder
- Don’t steal
- Don’t commit adultery
God put “REST” in the same category as moral absolutes.
That’s how important it is.
Why Did God Command Rest?
Because He KNOWS:
✅ You are not designed to run 24/7
Your body, mind, and soul NEED rest to function. God built you that way on purpose.
✅ Rest is an act of TRUST
When you rest, you’re saying: “God, I trust that You will provide. I trust that the world won’t fall apart if I stop. I trust that my worth isn’t in my productivity.”
✅ Rest is WORSHIP
When you rest, you acknowledge that GOD is God—and you are not. You can’t do it all. You were never meant to.
✅ Rest is OBEDIENCE
If God commands rest and you refuse, you’re not being “dedicated.” You’re being disobedient.
More Scripture on Rest
Matthew 11:28-30
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Jesus INVITES you to rest. He calls you to it. He promises it.
Psalm 23:1-3
“The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.”
God MAKES you lie down. He LEADS you to quiet waters. He REFRESHES your soul.
Rest is not optional. It’s God’s design.
Mark 6:31
“Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’”
Even Jesus—JESUS—took time to rest. And He told His disciples to do the same.
If Jesus needed rest, what makes you think you don’t?
Psalm 127:2
“In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves.”
God GRANTS sleep to those He loves. Rest is a GIFT, not a reward you have to earn.
The Cost of Ignoring God’s Command to Rest
What happens when you refuse to rest?
1. You Burn Out
You can’t run on empty forever. Eventually, your body, mind, or soul will break.
Burnout looks like:
- Chronic exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix
- Emotional numbness or constant overwhelm
- Physical illness (your body WILL force you to stop)
- Loss of passion for things you once loved
- Resentment toward the people you’re serving
You can’t pour from an empty cup. And you’ve been pouring for YEARS.
2. You Lose Joy
When you’re exhausted, you lose the ability to experience joy.
Everything becomes a task. A burden. An obligation.
You stop enjoying:
- Your family
- Your faith
- Your friendships
- Your life
You become a shell of who you were meant to be.
3. You Miss What Matters
When you’re constantly busy, you miss the moments that matter most.
The quiet conversation with your child.
The sunset you were too tired to notice.
The whisper of God in the stillness.
You’re so busy DOING that you forget how to BE.
4. You Model the Wrong Message
If you have children, grandchildren, or people watching you, you’re teaching them that rest is optional. That exhaustion is noble. That their worth is in their productivity.
Is that the legacy you want to leave?
5. You Distance Yourself from God
This is the most dangerous cost.
When you’re exhausted, you have no capacity for intimacy with God.
Prayer becomes a checklist.
Bible reading becomes a guilt trip.
Worship becomes performance.
You’re serving God while losing connection with Him.
And that’s not what He wants.
Practical Ways to Begin Resting (Start Small, Bible Chicks)
I know what you’re thinking:
“Nancy, this all sounds great. But I don’t have TIME to rest. If I stop, everything will fall apart.”
Let me tell you the truth:
If you DON’T rest, YOU will fall apart. And then everything falls apart anyway.
So let’s start small.
Step 1: Give Yourself Permission
Say this out loud:
“Rest is not selfish. Rest is sacred. God COMMANDS me to rest. And I’m going to obey.”
You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to justify rest. You need to REST.
Step 2: Start with 15 minutes
If you can’t take a whole day, start with 15 MINUTES.
Every day, do ONE of these:
- Sit in silence (no phone, no TV, no tasks)
- Take a walk outside
- Drink your coffee slowly without multitasking
- Read a Psalm
- Pray—not a to-do list prayer, but a “God, I’m just sitting here with You” prayer
15 minutes. That’s it. Start there.
Step 3: Say No to ONE Thing This Week
Pick ONE obligation that drains you and say NO.
- Don’t volunteer for that extra thing at church
- Don’t host that event
- Don’t say yes to babysitting
- Don’t take on that extra project at work
Practice the sacred art of NO.
Step 4: Protect ONE Day a Week
Pick ONE day—it doesn’t have to be Sunday—and make it your Sabbath.
On that day:
- No work (paid or unpaid)
- No cooking elaborate meals (keep it simple or order in)
- No cleaning (the mess will still be there tomorrow)
- No running errands
- No “productivity”
Just rest. Just BE.
Step 5: Create a “Rest Ritual
Make rest sacred.
- Light a candle
- Play worship music
- Read Scripture
- Journal
- Take a bath
- Sit outside
Make rest something you LOOK FORWARD TO, not something you feel guilty about.
Step 6: Let Go of Perfection
Your house doesn’t have to be perfect.
Your kids don’t have to be in every activity.
You don’t have to say yes to every request.
Done is better than perfect. And sometimes, NOT DONE is better than exhausted.
Step 7: Rest WITH God, Not Just FOR Goal
This is the Mary and Martha lesson.
Stop doing FOR God and start BEING WITH God.
- Sit at His feet
- Listen to His voice
- Let Him speak to your soul
- Experience His presence
That’s what rest is for.
A Prayer for the Exhausted Woman
Father,
I’m tired. So, so tired.
I’ve been running for so long, I don’t remember how to stop.
I’ve been told that rest is selfish. That exhaustion is noble. That my worth is in how much I produce.
But You say something different.
You say rest is sacred. That You COMMAND me to rest. That my worth is not in my doing—it’s in my being Your daughter.
Forgive me for believing the lie that I have to earn rest.
Forgive me for running myself into the ground in Your name.
Forgive me for serving You while losing connection with You.
Teach me to rest, Father.
Teach me that it’s okay to stop.
Teach me that the world won’t fall apart if I’m not holding it together.
Teach me to be Mary—sitting at Your feet—instead of always being Martha—distracted by all the things.
I give You my exhaustion. My to-do list. My guilt. My need to be everything to everyone.
And I receive Your rest. Your peace. Your presence.
Help me remember: I am not a machine. I am your beloved daughter. And You command me to rest.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
Final Word: Rest Is Not Selfish—It’s Sacred
Bible Chicks, hear me:
You are not lazy for needing rest.
You are not weak for being tired.
You are not selfish for saying no.
You are HUMAN. And God designed you to REST.
Rachel, the woman from the beginning of this story, learned this the hard way.
But once she did, everything changed.
She set boundaries. She said no. She protected her Sabbath.
And you know what happened?
The world didn’t fall apart.
Her family adjusted.
Her church survived without her doing everything.
And she—for the first time in decades—felt ALIVE.
That’s what rest does.
It doesn’t make you less productive. It makes you more PRESENT.
It doesn’t make you less valuable. It reminds you that your value isn’t in your doing—it’s in WHO YOU ARE.
It doesn’t make you less faithful. It makes you more OBEDIENT.
So rest, dear sister.
Not because you’ve earned it.
Not because everything is done.
But because God COMMANDS it.
And He knows what you need better than you do.
Nancy Duarte
Bible Teacher | Life on Earth Ministries
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“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
— Matthew 11:2
REST IS NOT REBELLION. IT’S OBEDIENCE. 💛
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